My sisters cat died today

its only one of the several horrible incidents of today.

but everything will turn around, right?


Little baby gizmo was only 1 year old as of last week.

when he first came home he was a rambunctious little kitten.
he was only the size of my palm.
After a few weeks he gained a mean streak, i started to dislike him due to the fact that he would bite any time i came near him.

for months the cat didnt like me, he never wanted to be near me or touch him.

three days ago i woke up to find him snuggled against me.

i didnt want to wake him because it was the first time hes ever willingly laid next to me.

when he woke up a few minutes later he started to lick me and rub against me.

this behavior continued for the last days of his life.

all i can think of is that he knew his time was near and all he wanted was love.

he was a great cat, and he will be missed

sorry to ramble on about my cat..... kinda thought i needed to put this some where.

My parents have known that I've wanted to travel since i was 12. Its no big surprise.

I feel like they talked me into getting a car last year so i would stay. All i wanted was some beaten up piece of shit to call my own.

Who cares is my car attracts ladies, I wouldn't want a girl who fell in love with me for my car.

Dependable? I don't care if the cars dependable, thats where half the fun is. If my car breaks down i can walk home from where ever, i can tow it back and i can fix it with my own hands.

Nothings more enjoyable than using something you recreated.

after months of bothering me about getting a car they took me to a car lot. By this time I had been waiting for a car for 3 years so they knew I would settle for anything. After putting a down payment on the cheapest car they had, i was ready to hit the road, only problem is I now owe 10,000 large on my car, and another $250 a month for insurance.

So here I aching for the open space, and i cannot leave.

Its been a year and i have paid off about 1/5 of what i owe.

As of January i lost my job.

My father promised a job at a security station where he works, they never called.

I looked for a job for a month and got 2 calls back, 2 interviews, nothing more.

I hate shaving, i feel like i should look like zz top.

I JUST WANTED TO LIVE LIFE BEFORE I HAD TO LIVE MY LIFE.

My friends dad promised us jobs, and a month later i found out my friend wasn't keeping on top of it, so i had to talk to his dad. Hes getting to the bottom of it and hopefully i get that job, it pays enough to pay off my car over the summer.

after that i'll just save for gas.

My father doesn't believe that my friends father is trying to get us a job. I had to come home to him going on and on and on.

He's a retired police officer, so he knows how to take the smallest thing and make you wish you hadn't even got out of bed in the morning.

at this point, i just want to leave my keys and my cell on the living room table with a note saying ill be back eventually and just hit the road. I just want to take a fucking long walk. I'll bring my laptop and sit in front of rich neighborhoods and steal their internet XD.

I've been going crazy.

I dont want to be tired down to anything now

i wish i knew i had the option to leave at anytime.

I also with i had a full beard.

So I haven't slept much since thanksgiving. I've been staying up and doing stupid shit, other then i bought left 4 dead for the 360 and thats where a majority of my time goes.

I just realized that im sitting here googling random shit, like how to break in a rubik's cube(i carry one around with me everywhere i go cuz it make me feel special), and how to make my own T.V. antenna for my tv in my room.

I need something to stablize me, I always do this every year right before my birthday. I've had a headache for 4 days now that just wont go away.

I think i need to get out and hang out with new people, i feel like im just on a routine.

in a week I'll be working 7 days a week at over 60 hours.

I feel like i have too much responcibility. I wish i would ave bought a cheap car. I wish i would stop spending money on stupid shit.

although 12 A.M. black friday at gurnee mills mall was a woot. people are crazy. I saw so many fist fights.

All i picked up were a pair of pants, a bears hoodie, and left 4 dead.




I NEED TO QUIT MY JOB.
I also need to shave, novembeard is almost over and i look like Abe Lincolin.

I feel like my brain needs to be challanged, i need loads of puzzles, if anyone knows any online puzzles let me know, I've been playing soduko all night.

I'm going to try to get some shut eye.


See you,
         Space Cowboy